Greasing the palm of the flappy hand

I have discovered bribing....and I think I LIKE it. Praise heaven above, the Goddess, Santa and whatever higher power that makes Pixar movies crack for kids. Something that actually gets my son's attention!

If there was an easy button for Autism, this would be mine. [disclaimer:This works for me. I don't know if it will work for you] I was at the store and there was a whole mess of match box cars on sale for $.69 so I purchased them, thinking I would just save them. I had to pick up Emerson so I hid them in this awesome drawer that is under the passenger seat of my new(to me) mom-mobile mini van. The MMMV! I hid them and promptly forgot about them, ADD style.

We live about 3 miles from my mom so it's our go-to outing destination(jealous of us world travelers aren't you?!) Emerson does not do well going home, he wants adventure.*Take that Autism stereo-types!*  So on one such day, sporting a headache and dealing with all three kids solo because the hubby was on night shift, I loaded the MMMV up with my spawn. I was trying to buckle the squirmy baby in the to-small-for-him infant carrier(that's now been remedied btw) listening to seven year old Meadow complain for the umpteenth time,when she mentions the word
 "home"....
Brain melting screaming ensues from Emerson.

"NOT go HOME! Home is broken! Home is absent!!! WhaaaaAAAA!!"

Thanks Meadow! I think "what can I do before he makes the baby cry too?" light bulb! I remember the cars.(and pat myself on the back for being such a thrifty spender, never mind the copious amounts I spend at Starbucks <--Don't judge)

"Emerson, do you want a present?"
"Whaa-Oh yes!" wipes eyes.
"You may have a present if you sit in your seat and be happy until we get home."
"Oh yes!....Mama, Mama, Mama, you want to go home??"

Well that little trick has served me well on many occasions, like over stimulating birthday parties at ChuckEcheese(I know I'm insane) or trips to friends houses, when he refuses to go back to the humdrum of our safe boring house, that I've dubbed the "fish bowl" btw.

I make sure to use this technique only when needed, triaging each situation for magnitude of meltdown so we can avoid the most atomic ones because, really, if he is that upset his brain stops working.(and so does mine for that matter) I use it sparingly like you would morphine in that triage scenario, because too much would be damaging but it makes me feel better knowing I have options. I'll go with this novel of metaphors and say picking your battles can make all the difference, like mushroom-cloud-difference.

 I know some people may judge my use of the word "bribery" because what I'm really talking about is reinforcement. I sort of like the image of myself as a 1920's gangster though, trying to corrupt my son with toy cars and iPhone apps.(better than being a triage nurse)  But what the futz? It's about survival and those meltdowns look like they must kill brain cells, so we do what works and whatever will get us a wiggle on!        <--20's slang is the elephant's eyebrows

 

1920's? Autism? Would that make him a flapper? Bwahaha!

Neurodiversity on turkey day

Puzzling out a path

 Having a child diagnosed with Autism
starts by
puzzling out a path
on an otherwise rocky road'
stopping every now and then to help
a fellow lost traveler.
-Tracy Quigley

ASD Fall Fashion

Let's talk about it

Mommy Buddy turns ONE!

Emerson age 2

    
  I've been writing for years but I've only been writing as "Mommy Buddy" from the planet Autism for exactly one year today. This has been one of the most fulfilling things I have ever done. Looking back I haven't really written about our diagnosis process (I will get around to it now that I've noticed) but I remember how scared and lost I felt. The period before the diagnosis was so much harder than after. That "not knowing" feeling can be so much more debilitating than the first time you hear someone say "I'm sorry but I think your child may be Autistic." Autistic? I didn't have anyone to ask advice from. I had the scary internet keeping me up all night because let's face it, researching can be both good and insanely bad for your piece of mind. All I was certain of was that my sweet beautiful boy wasn't on course....something was wrong.

I had been itching to write down our journey pretty much from the beginning. It always ended up on scraps of paper with scribbles all over it or in a forgotten notebooks that I unearth every now and then from the bottomless pit that is my house, like precious gems. I have never felt shy about talking about my son and his Autism, even when I notice I'm getting boring to others who are not as interested. That is where Mommy Buddy has been a life raft I have clutched on to. I know you wonderful people are just as hungry for the "A" word as I! I have never been more passionate about anything in my life. Sometimes that intensity can be overwhelming to the random layperson.

My very first facebook post on Mommy Buddy:

Introducing me: I am a stay at home mom to a 6 year old, very opinionated girl, a four year old boy who can melt any heart I don't care how curmudgeonly you are (and also happens to have High Functioning Autism) and a baby boy to be who has ignored his due date that was almost two weeks ago proving without a doubt that he belongs to this motley crew. Plus a husband that actually thanks me when I tell him he is being an ass..... I realised that I call my son 'buddy" so much that he started calling me "Mommy buddy" hence "Mommy Buddy" from the planet Autism was born....( I just started so give me a chance ;)

  Since then I have found myself being that voice that I so desperately sought but for other parent that are in the same dark place I was. It's been sort of surreal...but also therapeutic. Something I read always pops into my head:

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

Emerson age 4 and a half

 

 

Mommy Buddy belongs to all of you just as much as I. Thanks for trusting me at the helm! I have made so many connections and more great friends than I've ever had. (high school, take THAT! lol) The unsung benefit of having a child with Autism! The community! I think that it is sort of Awesome that I hit 2100 fans 12 months after we started....from the bottom of my heart, thank you
for being my lifeline. <3

Emerson age 5 and a half

 

Sensational!

October is Sensory Processing Disorder month so here is the Autism Parent Prayer modifyed just for SPD <3